Set your own healthy boundaries!

WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES?

Boundaries represent the way we approach our interactions with other people, based on our own level of comfort, by placing clear limits.
They reflect what is acceptable and not acceptable for us, what are needs are, and how we feel about people’s behaviour.
Boundaries help us maintain a thriving relationship with ourselves and with the people in our life.

LACK OF BOUNDARIES LOOK LIKES :

 Sharing too much too soon or closing yourself off and not expressing yourself clearly.

 Feeling responsible for other’s well being.

 Fear of being rejected if you express your truth.

 Feeling guilt if you take out time for self-care.

 Agreeing to something when you actually want to disagree.

 Allowing others to make decisions for you; consequently, feeling powerless.

 Offering support/advice when it is not requested.

 Letting others abuse/hurt/ manipulate you and not having the courage to exit the abusive relationships.

WHY IT IS HARD FOR PEOPLE TO SET BOUNDARIES:

 If you struggle with co-dependency patterns, you feel responsible for how other people are feeling so you don’t want to hurt or upset them.

 If you experienced emotional abandonment during childhood, now you’ll do everything you can to make the people in your life stay, constantly seeking their validation. This can manifest as prioritizing their needs before your own.

 If you have low awareness of your own needs, you might have a hard time understanding what your limit are.

 “I have to focus on my own needs right now.”

HOW TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES:

 Recognize what your physical, mental, and emotional needs are and set limits for yourself that will allow you to take care of them first.

 Understand that prioritizing your well being isn’t selfish, it is essential.

 Learn to say “No”, even when it feels uncomfortable.

 Take responsibility for how you allow others to treat you.

 Stand up for yourself and voice your opinion with confidence.

 Assess your energy and protect it when you don’t have the capacity to give it away.

 Heal your emotional baggage (specially emotional abandonment issues from childhood) so you are able to set healthy boundaries.

HOW TO COMMUNICATE YOUR BOUNDARIES:

 “I am not comfortable with that.”

 “Thank you for the invite, but I wont be able to attend.”

 “I respect you having a different opinion, but I choose to stand by my initial decision.”

 “This is not going to work for me.”

 “I really appreciate your concern, but I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

 “No.”

 “I am sorry but I can’t lend you money.”

 “I don’t have emotional/physical capacity for this right now.” 

REMEMBER:

When you start setting up boundaries, people will feel disappointed and even rejected and this is because of their own emotional attachments issues (stemming from childhood emotional negligence from parents/caregivers).
Stay consistent. Your boundaries are for you so honour them and remind yourself that how people respond to your boundaries is a reflection of their own unhealed traumas.

~khushboo.♥️

3.2.2021